The Workaholic

Male, 45, Married, Self-Employed, Fit
Goal: Wants freedom from addictions (porn, smoking, alcohol)

“On the outside, I was the picture of success. I ran my own business, kept myself in shape, and had a family that looked perfect in photos. Colleagues admired me, friends envied me, and even my social media projected the image of a man who had it all together.

But in private, I was drowning. Behind closed doors, I was trapped in cycles of addiction - porn, smoking, alcohol, drugs at times. I told myself they were harmless escapes, a way to blow off steam. But deep down, I knew I was spiraling. Each time I gave in, I felt the crushing weight of shame.

I hated myself for it. I’d wake up hungover, stare at myself in the mirror, and promise it was the last time. But by evening, the cravings returned. It wasn’t just the habits - it was the secrecy. I feared that if my family knew the truth, I’d lose everything. The guilt of living a double life was eating me alive.

I tried willpower. I tried cutting back. I tried hiding it better. Nothing worked. I couldn’t understand why someone as disciplined as me in business and fitness couldn’t control this part of his life. That failure made me hate myself even more.

When I found RTT, I didn’t expect it to help. How could some therapy session break patterns I’d been stuck in for years? But I was desperate. I couldn’t live in chains anymore.

In my first session, I saw myself as a boy, being scolded for showing emotion and being told to ‘man up.’ The addictions weren’t random - they were my escape. Every cigarette, every drink, every late-night binge was my way of silencing the pressure, the unworthiness, the fear of failing. I was coping with wounds I didn’t even know I carried.

Through RTT, I reframed those beliefs. I stopped seeing myself as broken and started understanding myself as someone who had learned unhealthy ways to survive. And because I’d learned them, I could unlearn them.

Each time I felt the urge to return to old habits, I reminded myself: ‘I am not a shame. The addictions were simply replaying old stories.' Slowly, I replaced old patterns with new ones - journaling, exercise, honest conversations with my wife.

The secrecy lifted. The shame began to dissolve. For the first time in decades, I felt whole.

Now, I’m not perfect, but I’m free. I can look my family in the eye without guilt. I can walk tall and be a man with honor. I’ve learned that true strength isn’t about hiding weakness - it’s about facing it. And that’s the man I’m finally becoming.”

Symptom Tags:

#Addiction #Shame #SelfSabotage #Stress #Compulsions